Vices

What are your Vices?

When times get tough do you find yourself running to the same vices?  Or, maybe you overuse vices in hard times because they are now habit?  Perhaps you are you a model of happiness who turns to healthy vices?

This has been on my mind lately as I have been trying to rid myself of the all of my backfiring vices.   I have good productive vices too.   I often use exercise, mediation and prayer, yoga, walks and hmmm…I expected my healthy vice list to be longer   Well, here they are, my poor choice vices:

Coffee

Food

Cuticle biting

Wine (maybe that one should move to second place below coffee)

Wasting time on the internet

Complaining

Before I go on, I should clarify about the wine.  I am not pulling up to school drop off with a thermous full or topping myself off after lunch.  But,  the glass on wine on the weekend after the kids are put to bed slowly stretches from Saturday to Friday and Sunday.  Next it creeps to Monday and Thursday.  And now you have a habit, and not a healthy one.

The same is true for me with coffee.  I never actually see the bottom of a coffee cup.  I pour and dump from about 6 AM until 8:30 AM.  My coffee is the little bit of happiness in the chaos of the morning.   It is warmth in the cold and dark morning.  Sometimes I try to bring that happiness to the afternoon too.  It often backfires and makes me feel horrible. 

For the past few weeks, I have taken coffee and wine out of my weekday routine.  Ditching wine during the week has been pretty easy.  But the coffee….a little harder.  I am fortunate that I never get caffeine headaches .  Tea (especially when it’s caffeinated ) does a fine job as a replacement for the most part.  I still miss coffee.  The sad truth is that it is a little bit of a security blanket for me.  A self -medicating happy blanket.  And, a hard habit to break.

Here is my dilemma:  while some of these vices should be, pretty much eliminated: cuticle biting, internet, and complaining.  I can’t quite pull the plug on the others completely.  I don’t care to live my remaining days with out coffee, wine, and certainly not without food.  Being an all or nothing person is a challenge.  It is great when you need to finish a task list at full speed or plow through a workout.  It stinks when you have no idea how to live in moderation.  I’d like to blame society for push until you drop (or have a nervous breakdown) mentality.  I will also tip my hat to genetics on my paternal side (sorry Dad, you Northen’s are intense).

So, for now I will continue on my weekend only plan to keep balance.  It isn’t perfect.  I’ve had coffee mid week and I try not to guilt myself.  The down side is that my cuticle biting and complaining have hit a new all time high.  One thing at a time.

Do struggle with any unhealthy vices?  What are they?