TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 6, 2011
Labor Day for Mothers
In the spirit of Labor Day, I attempted to do as little work as possible yesterday. Unfortunately, the only way to slack for a day is to double up my work on Sunday or Tuesday. Since we were out at the cabin for the weekend, postponing work wasn’t an option. Instead, we did our normal close up cleaning and packing on Sunday night. That little bit of invested time made for a fantastically lazy Monday morning. Leaving me wondering, “why don’t I have a rest day every week?”. I do realize that this is what Sundays are supposed to be for. But, does anyone still use Sunday as a day of rest? Maybe someone should. Maybe that someone should be me.
I have never really paid much attention to Labor Day in the past. It has always been more of a bitter sweet end of summer weekend then a day of significance. Yesterday, as I tried to give myself a break from my daily work, I began to think about my career. As many full time mothers, I always consider myself unemployed. In fact, when I am required to fill out a form with a space for occupation, I usually write “N/A”. I now realize how horribly belittling that is.
The truth is, my jobs and career path have changed often. Sometimes by the job I actually do, and sometimes just in my head. While I stopped receiving a paycheck long ago, I never stopped working. The tricky thing about this career change is the stigma that it comes with. It is a risky cross over. Like abandoning accounting to raise lamas for 10 years, once you have made the switch, it is hard to be welcomed back. You have been self branded and boxed.
I won’t go on and on with the usual clichés about motherhood. Yes, it is often a thankless job. Yes, it is the toughest job you’ll ever have. Yes, you can add up all of the various “jobs” that a woman typically preforms in a year and come up with the gigantic salary that she is entitled. All of those points are valid. But, I find it upsetting that I, and many other women in my position feel the need to be validated.
I am more then a mother and I am more then a homemaker, a wife and a domestic coordinator. While this position leaves me open to the freedom to explore many of my passions and hobbies, it does not allow for me to take another full time career (without some serious outsourcing). My work does not fit into the parameters of a traditional career path. Like clergy an artist, or a social worker, you cannot work for money or even a tangible reward. It is a job of service. The rewards are sometimes numerous and powerful. Sometimes they are subtle and easily overlooked. Many won’t be seen for years, and years to come. It is, however, a career.
Do you take Sunday as a day of rest from responsibilities? Do you See your job as mother or homemaker as a career?
Labor Day for Mothers
In the spirit of Labor Day, I attempted to do as little work as possible yesterday. Unfortunately, the only way to slack for a day is to double up my work on Sunday or Tuesday. Since we were out at the cabin for the weekend, postponing work wasn’t an option. Instead, we did our normal close up cleaning and packing on Sunday night. That little bit of invested time made for a fantastically lazy Monday morning. Leaving me wondering, “why don’t I have a rest day every week?”. I do realize that this is what Sundays are supposed to be for. But, does anyone still use Sunday as a day of rest? Maybe someone should. Maybe that someone should be me.
I have never really paid much attention to Labor Day in the past. It has always been more of a bitter sweet end of summer weekend then a day of significance. Yesterday, as I tried to give myself a break from my daily work, I began to think about my career. As many full time mothers, I always consider myself unemployed. In fact, when I am required to fill out a form with a space for occupation, I usually write “N/A”. I now realize how horribly belittling that is.
The truth is, my jobs and career path have changed often. Sometimes by the job I actually do, and sometimes just in my head. While I stopped receiving a paycheck long ago, I never stopped working. The tricky thing about this career change is the stigma that it comes with. It is a risky cross over. Like abandoning accounting to raise lamas for 10 years, once you have made the switch, it is hard to be welcomed back. You have been self branded and boxed.
I won’t go on and on with the usual clichés about motherhood. Yes, it is often a thankless job. Yes, it is the toughest job you’ll ever have. Yes, you can add up all of the various “jobs” that a woman typically preforms in a year and come up with the gigantic salary that she is entitled. All of those points are valid. But, I find it upsetting that I, and many other women in my position feel the need to be validated.
I am more then a mother and I am more then a homemaker, a wife and a domestic coordinator. While this position leaves me open to the freedom to explore many of my passions and hobbies, it does not allow for me to take another full time career (without some serious outsourcing). My work does not fit into the parameters of a traditional career path. Like clergy an artist, or a social worker, you cannot work for money or even a tangible reward. It is a job of service. The rewards are sometimes numerous and powerful. Sometimes they are subtle and easily overlooked. Many won’t be seen for years, and years to come. It is, however, a career.
Do you take Sunday as a day of rest from responsibilities? Do you See your job as mother or homemaker as a career?
THURSDAY, JULY 14, 2011
Happy Travel for Adults
In my previous life of freedom, I LOVED to travel. I was one of those rare people. I liked the excitement and energy of airports and train stations. I thrived on a change of scenery and trying new things. I didn't worry about plane crashes or lost luggage. I knew that I would be okay. Besides, having to buy all new clothes at my destination didn't seem like such a bad thing.
As the years go by, things have started to change. I still love to travel. But, I am noticing that I feel the discomforts that it brings a lot more then I used to. This would be the perfect place to insert the blame on my children for my new travel woes. Surprisingly, I will not. I can't deny, that they have something to do with my new travel discomforts. But, they aren't to blame.
In May, my husband and I took a childless trip to Hawaii. I expected to arrive in Maui feeling renewed and ready to set out on an adventure. Instead, I landed crabby, tired and unmotivated. And then, to add another layer, I was disappointed that I was wasting precious time feeling that way. It took me a good day to feel normal again.
In two weeks, our family will be flying a "red eye" across country. As you can see, I have pretty much set myself up for a major travel failure. It is surely masochistic plan. However, I am set on making it work. So, my monkey brain is working overtime devising a plan. Not just for my kids, but for John and I as well.
It will not be an elaborate plan, just one of common sense. I figure most of my travel failures come from this:
Feeling tired before travel begins
Being dehydrated
Being uncomfortable on the plane
Being bored
Having too high expectations
Feeling tired on arrival
Next week, I will share what I plan to do to counter those discomforts. What do you do to make travel less stressful and more enjoyable?
Creativity is a funny thing. We use it constantly. As a mother, I tap into my creativity everyday. I find creative ways to distract my spirited child from a public tantrum. I look for creative ways to make chores seem like fun, or camouflage vegetables in bland food. But, creativity and trickery are not synonyms. Creativity should come from inspiration, not duty. For me, this is where the challenge lies. Lately, all of my creativity undertaking come from duty.
Prior to having children, I could easily waste away an afternoon listening to music and painting at my kitchen table. I loved to take a journal to the park and clear my brain on it's pages. Or, practice voice or piano, just for fun. Now, with a house filled to the brim with activity and noise, these outlets seem like indulgences not likely to happen any time soon. Where ever your creative passions roam or what your full time job is, if you are over the age of 30 and/or have children, you are probably in the same boat.
I have been thinking a lot about the need for creativity in my life lately. As a parent, I have always taken time and effort to focus on the artful ingenuity of my children. After all, it is great for cognitive growth, relaxation, patience, confidence and so much more. But wait, couldn't I use all of those things too? While my children need a creative outlet as a life skill, I need it as a coping mechanism.
Here is a little check in to see if I could benefit from a little creative down time. Can you freshen up in any of these areas? I can, see my responses:
Cognitive growth: growth? I struggle for mental clarity and I could use some more.
Relaxation: I relax when I am sleeping.
Patience: Pass.
Confidence: In domestic affairs, sure. Outside of that, not really.
So what now? I have read parenting magazines that suggest that you can get creative with your kids. Doodle when they color, sing with them or dance together. These are great things, but it doesn't replace our own needs. Drawing race cars with crayons while my son orders the specs., doesn't fulfill me. For that, I am thankful.
Today, I have one simple idea. I am going to create my own art box. I have often done things like this for my children. Only, my box will not have glitter glue or construction paper. My box will have charcoal and drawing pencils. In short, it will have a real art supplies. Maybe for others, this will be a knitting box, a journal, or a scrapbooking kit. Mine will be a small box that is easy to pack up, can move from room to room, and easily be put away. A box that can be stored on a high shelf away from curious hands. Whatever makes up your box, I hope that you will keep it close. Use it while your children are using playdough, building legos or doing homework. I hope that it will nurture YOUR creative spirit.
What creative Activities do you wish you had more time for? What will you put in your box?
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