Happy Halloween!

Happy Halloween!  It's hard to believe that a weekend long of celebrating was just the prologue for today.  If you are a teacher today, best of luck.  If you are a teacher tomorrow, best of luck times two.

To spite all of my complaining about the extreme celebrating for this holiday, we had a great weekend.  We got to catch up with friends while the children got wild in someone else's house.  And, I didn't have to make dinner for two nights in a row!  Not bad at all.

Today leaves us with one more round of costuming.  I think that Amelia's quickly thrown together red fox will make it one more night.  Jack's bat wings came off a few times on Saturday, but a few quick stitches quickly put them back in place.  Liam is yet to wear his full monkey costume (grrr), that I spent an afternoon hunting down on request (double grrr.), so it is still in fine condition for this evenings festivities.  

We will head out early in our house at 6 PM to leave plenty of time for treating, assessing and over sugaring.  Halloween is the only day of the year that I loosen my very tight (and overbearing) grip of my children's treat consumption.  After getting home tonight, they get to feast on as much candy as they like before brushing their teeth (EXTREMELY well) and going to bed.  I am always surprised that they don't actually eat until they vomit or finish their stash.  This year, my money is on Liam eating the most of them all.  I also predict that tomorrow's sugar withdrawal is going to be a challenge for all.

For our teachers:  May the angels be with you today and tomorrow!

When did Halloween get so big?

Yesterday while passing by the bulk bins at the Tacoma Food Co-op my children innocently asked:  "Can we buy yogurt covered pretzels?"  My response:  "Hmmm, Friday you have a school harvest party,  we are going to 2 halloween parties on Saturday, there is a harvest party after church on Sunday and Halloween is on Monday.  Sorry, there is NO WAY I am bringing anything with sugar home with us today".  They didn't even begin to counter.


Growing up, I don't remember having a Halloween party at school.  Maybe, I just wasn't invited, but I don't think I ever went to Halloween parties outside of school either.  I certainly wasn't parading around local business districts soliciting candy.  I don't think I even wore my costume outside of the house until Halloween night.  I have nothing against Halloween.  I love that my children get to wear their well planned costumes a few times before they outgrow them next year.  Still, it just feels like over kill.  With Thanksgiving and Christmas waiting as we round the corner back from trick-or-treating, I could do without the week long festival of candy and gluttony we celebrate every October.  How do you say "bah humbug" in halloween?  


Now that I have gotten that off my chest, I can give mention to all of the sweet things that haven't seemed to change much over the years.  It is funny how the important parts of life seem to carry on.  Those things that we treasure most stand the test of time.  Forget about the candy, these are the sweet things:


Watching my Children admiring their costumed selves in the mirror for the first time.


Getting together with friends that I don't get to see often enough.


Watching the Charlie Brown, Great Pumpkin, with the kids.


Toasting pumpkin seeds.


Family night walks to check out the best decorations in the neighborhood.


Illuminating our well planned jack-o-lanterns on Halloween night.


Saying hello to neighbors that we rarely see.


The palpable excitement in the air as we head down set off trick-or-treating.


The sheer delight on my children's faces as they dump out the mountain of candy they have collected on the living room floor.


What are your thoughts on Halloween?  The bigger the better or simple is sweet?

Step and Rest

My 24 hrs. plus to share with my husband was perfect!  Saturday brought rain instead of a hike.  But, the rain brought a little more time to poke around in Olympia and linger over lunch.  The rain made our cozy cabin and with a fire a happy retreat.  A dry Sunday sent us heading for The Olympic National Park.  No kids or dogs to guide our hike this time!  So, we went big.  To set out for the wagon wheel lake climb just inside the staircase entrance.

View from the (almost) top

Six miles round trip doesn't seem like a lot for a day hike.  It seems like a lot more when the elevation gain of those 3 miles in is 3200 ft.  Wow, it was tough.   One of the most difficult in the entire park.  But, so rewarding.


Like any physically challenging endeavor  requiring a good amount of endurance, the first 20 minutes or so always seem to be the hardest.  It isn't the physicality so much as the mentality at this point.  Such was the case yesterday.  "What did I get myself into?  If it is this hard now, how much worse might it get? Why am I even doing this?  I hate hiking!  When can I rest?"  ....and on and on. 


During my monkey brain circus, my wise husband mentioned that he was using a technique that he learned years ago in a class with the Mountaineers, "rest with each step".  So simple and so transformative.  Very yogic too.  I was amazed how instantly I realized that through the challenge, there was calm.  My body was working, but it wasn't screaming after all.  That was just my mind.  As I start a new week, certain to be filled with both peace and challenge, I plan to take that with me.  Whether struggling with an unhappy child, feeling overwhelmed with to do's, or dealing with the unexpected, I don't need shut down, hide or panic. There is always time to rest with each step.

Happy Notes

It's Friday!  I was excited about Tuesday, but that doesn't come close to my super charged Friday excitement.  There are so many things that I love about the weekend.  Who doesn't have a long list of weekend happy notes?  They most likely include many of mine:

Sleeping in
Family Time
Spending time with my husband
Stealing lazy moments of quiet
Leaving the house without a child.....

I could go on.  This weekend is especially exciting for me.  John and I get 24 hrs + without the kids.  Since dollars aren't burning a whole in my hand at the moment, we are going to keep it simple and affordable.  Were are packing up the dogs and heading to the cabin.  A stop in Olympia, a little hiking, puppy play, and a day to actually finish a conversation, uninterrupted.  It may not sound luxe, but it is to me!  We haven't been without the kids for a night since May.  I don't feel even the slightest twinge of sadness to leave them.  Don't feel bad for them.  They are just excited to be rid of us and have Grandma and Grandpa to shower them with attention.

What are your weekend plans?  When is the last time (if ever) you have been away from your child over night?

Vices

What are your Vices?

When times get tough do you find yourself running to the same vices?  Or, maybe you overuse vices in hard times because they are now habit?  Perhaps you are you a model of happiness who turns to healthy vices?

This has been on my mind lately as I have been trying to rid myself of the all of my backfiring vices.   I have good productive vices too.   I often use exercise, mediation and prayer, yoga, walks and hmmm…I expected my healthy vice list to be longer   Well, here they are, my poor choice vices:

Coffee

Food

Cuticle biting

Wine (maybe that one should move to second place below coffee)

Wasting time on the internet

Complaining

Before I go on, I should clarify about the wine.  I am not pulling up to school drop off with a thermous full or topping myself off after lunch.  But,  the glass on wine on the weekend after the kids are put to bed slowly stretches from Saturday to Friday and Sunday.  Next it creeps to Monday and Thursday.  And now you have a habit, and not a healthy one.

The same is true for me with coffee.  I never actually see the bottom of a coffee cup.  I pour and dump from about 6 AM until 8:30 AM.  My coffee is the little bit of happiness in the chaos of the morning.   It is warmth in the cold and dark morning.  Sometimes I try to bring that happiness to the afternoon too.  It often backfires and makes me feel horrible. 

For the past few weeks, I have taken coffee and wine out of my weekday routine.  Ditching wine during the week has been pretty easy.  But the coffee….a little harder.  I am fortunate that I never get caffeine headaches .  Tea (especially when it’s caffeinated ) does a fine job as a replacement for the most part.  I still miss coffee.  The sad truth is that it is a little bit of a security blanket for me.  A self -medicating happy blanket.  And, a hard habit to break.

Here is my dilemma:  while some of these vices should be, pretty much eliminated: cuticle biting, internet, and complaining.  I can’t quite pull the plug on the others completely.  I don’t care to live my remaining days with out coffee, wine, and certainly not without food.  Being an all or nothing person is a challenge.  It is great when you need to finish a task list at full speed or plow through a workout.  It stinks when you have no idea how to live in moderation.  I’d like to blame society for push until you drop (or have a nervous breakdown) mentality.  I will also tip my hat to genetics on my paternal side (sorry Dad, you Northen’s are intense).

So, for now I will continue on my weekend only plan to keep balance.  It isn’t perfect.  I’ve had coffee mid week and I try not to guilt myself.  The down side is that my cuticle biting and complaining have hit a new all time high.  One thing at a time.

Do struggle with any unhealthy vices?  What are they?

Oops, grrr...ehh

That lovely run that I had planned for yesterday didn't go so well.  Well, the running part was okay.  But the "long" run did not happen.  Silly me.  Beautiful day, shinning sun, cool Fall air and I giant sign that says "Five Mile Loop".  I noticed the air and the sun, it's just the sign that escaped me.  Thankfully, having my head in the clouds did not lead to me getting lost and the eaten by wild dogs or zombies.  It just meant that I had circled back to my car after 2.4 miles.  Right when my hands were beginning to thaw.  Bleh. 

On the bright side, I was here....

So, instead of working off my stress with a good exhausting run, I went home frustrated.  Since I had a quick run, I now had time for a long shower and a little more time to spend with my delicious soy latte at Bluebeard.

So, I have lot's of pent up energy to spend at step class this morning.  Especially since I slept 9 hours last night after taking an hour nap in the afternoon.  


I believe that I was meant to hibernate in the winter.


How about you. Are you effected by seasonal sleepiness?

What can I cram into 2 hours?

Today is Tuesday!  I know that doesn't sound very exciting to you.  But, it is for me.  Why?  Tuesday is my free morning.  Okay, that is an overstatement.  Taking away the time spent in the car, I have 2 hours between dropping Liam off at preschool and scooping him back up again.  This year, Liam attends preschool two mornings a week.  Since I teach the other morning, that leaves me with one wonderful 2-hour block to do as I please.  A sweet, sweet rarity.  Liam has been in school for almost a month now.  Yet, every Tuesday that comes and goes, I panic with how to spend my time.  I am so excited to do all of the things that I can't do normally, that I am paralyzed and chose something totally random or otherwise lame.  Last week I took Dixie to Point Defiance (not lame), took a shower, sang a little, cleaned a little (getting duller), and finished dinner (yawn). Instead of enjoying it, I was rushing around trying to cram in as much as possible.  Totally unsatisfying.


Today is different.  I am going for a long and lovely fall run on at Point Defiance, taking a quick shower, and parking it at Bluebeard Coffee for 20 minutes of quite to prepare for my classes for the week.  I am going to fight the urge to do a quick load of laundry, walk the dog (sorry Dixie, I need to run too), or mop the floors.  

Sometimes being inefficient is the best way to be efficient.

What do you do with your time when you have a free hour or two to yourself?

New evidence that music raises the IQ

Wow!  There have been some interesting findings on the impact of music on cognitive development.  A Canadian study of four to six year old children showed increased verbal IQ scores for children who had been exposed to an experimental animated computer music program. 

If you are interested in the details of the study, you can read about them here: 

www.psychologicalscience.org/index.php/news/releases/young-children-show-improved-verbal-iq-after-20-days-of-exposure-to-music-based-cognitive-training-cartoons.html

While this study offers more proof that music is good for the brain, I can’t help but wonder:  Don’t children who participate in live musical instruction benefit even more?  If you watch the brief clip in this article, it you may wonder the same.  I certainly believe that any exposure to music education is beneficial.  However, I hate to hand over music education to a computer.  The best way to learn about music is to live it.  The concepts and sounds can be replicated, but there is a lot that is lost too.

Sound itself is created by vibration.  The vibrations that come from a speaker can’t compare to the vibrations and energy experienced when singing in a group, listening to a piano or beating a drum.  Live music incorporates more of the senses, not just sound and sight. The Kindermusik classes that I teach (and maybe you attend?) emphasize the growth of the whole child.  I love that we keep music a whole body experience with dance, touch, sight, communication, or social interactions.  If only you could taste the music we would have all of the bases covered.  Music celebrates both the self and those we share it with.  The brain blossoms to receive this celebration.    It grows as it fills with joy and wonder.

If a child’s IQ surges from computer based instruction, imagine how he responds to live musical instruction? 

Do you think that children can learn as well from a computer as they can a teacher?

Having a baby is not like having an angry boss (part 2)

There are days I would love to wake up to a demanding boss instead of a child.  I would really be thrilled for an adult of any kind.    Why? 

• Most adults don’t make up screaming, and if they do it is usually just until they get a caffeine fix.   
• I can’t imagine that many employers make you late for a meeting because their bowels are calling just as you are headed out the door. 
• I doubt they demand that you wipe their bottom either.  
• I can’t imagine a boss asking “Can I help?” as much as my son does only to destroy what it is that I am doing.  No, a boss wants you to actually be productive.  
• I have never had a boss say “I hate you” or “you smell”.  I have been fired, and I have been talked down to.  It is much more pleasant then being heckled by a 3 year old.
•  I have never had a boss cry while wrapping themselves around my leg when I left the office.  Never did one put his finger in my face and order me “don’t go to yoga when I go into the other room”.   

The real problem is with that tired analogy is that when you work for a baby or child boss, you are constantly worried about their safety.  If an adult boss can’t be trusted in the bath alone for fear of drowning, they should not BE boss.  In addition, this idea implies that the parent has one boss and one job.  Some of my biggest struggles stem from the fact that I have many jobs and bosses/children.  Caring for a child and nothing else is tough.  Caring for a child, his/her siblings, pets, and spouse is another.  Add to that constant worry about your child’s safety and emotional health and things get really complicated.

So, if we parents are not employees, what are we?  Just for fun, I looked up Wikipedia’s definition of indentured servant.  No, that didn’t fit either.  Slave was closer, but still not quite right.  A drudge? Almost there, but it still was missing the emotional side.  I guess there is no point in trying to explain parenthood as anything other then what it is.  Whatever that is.  

Having a baby is not like having an angry boss (part 1)

You have heard an analogy before that goes something like this:  “Having a baby is like having a demanding boss breathing down your back 24 hours a day.”

I realize that who ever first came up with this idea was trying to give sort of recognition to stay at home parents.  The hours are long, your work never seems to be good enough, you are always on call etc., etc.  Those are all true.   I also realize that my children aren’t infants.  But, my 3 year old is pretty demanding.  Not nearly as demanding as when he was an infant, but not exactly easy to care for either.  My 7 and 8 year old can be difficult too.  But, I won’t pretend that it is nearly as challenging as the infant and preschool years in this area.

Once in a blue moon Often, life devoted to a young child is much better then it would be with a demanding boss.  Today after calling Jack in sick to school (only to  discover him suddenly “better” within 5 minutes), the boys and I headed to Point Defiance.  I chose where and when we were going (they’re not the boss of me!), and we hit the trails.  We took Dixie along too.  Most mean bosses don’t let you bring your dog to work.   My boys even played with her.  We brought along a bag to collect nature treasures.  Since I assigned a nature walk to 2 of my classes this week, I thought that we should do our homework too.  The trails were empty as they often are in the fall.  We compared the feel of different mosses, listed to birds and something that sounded like a tree frog.  We collected soggy pinecones and pieces of fern.  The air was beautiful and crisp.  The park was intensely green.  When we were done, we turned around and headed home to create our new mantel:

Liam and Jack's Treasure Jars

An Autumn Afternoon

This morning I had supportive co-workers.  They were the slightly under-qualified, “still learning the ropes” types.  But, they were eager go -getters.  


What do you think?  Is life with an infant or preschooler harder or easier then having a tyrannical boss?

Puppy Power

…and I thought babies grew quickly.  Our very frisky Dixie Cotter is growing by the minute.  She is sleeping through the night (mostly), and is even starting to conform to our crazy schedule.  With the exception of her ability to escape from her travel crate - in the car only to appear underneath my feet while I’m driving!, and razor sharp teeth, she is PERFECT.

To prove my point, here are some pictures taken from the weekend.  Dixie had her first trip to Lake Cushman and first of many hikes on the Hoodsport trail.  If you notice that the pictures are better then the norm, it is because I didn’t take them.  I was not in Hoodsport, but parked on the couch eating left over birthday cake and watching Fat Albert with Jack and Amelia.  Hey, hey, hey,  don’t judge me.  That was all I could muster after the birthday chaos of the week before.  No wonder why this week is getting of to a rocky start.  I seriously need a childless vacation.  Back to the pictures, yes the pictures.  Here they are!

Still Adorable, a little less wrinkled

Perhaps, a swim?

I'm the perfect puppy, admit it!

Okay, I guess I should include a cute Liam picture to make me look less crazy and more like a loving mother (though I probably lost all credibility by divulging the cake and Albert tidbit).

"I loved going to the cabin with my Dad, he gave me an enormous piece of cake for lunch!"

"My mom chose a vizsla because they match my hair" 

Have you slacked lately as a parent out of exhaustion or boredom?  What did YOU do?

Third Graders Gone Wild

As the title suggests, Friday night’s birthday fiesta was one wild party.  The kids had a great time.  Unfortunately, I have never really been that big on wild parties.  Now that I am closer to 40 then 30, they really bring the anxious, ninny out in me.  Add in to that the screams of children, and the responsibility of returning these children unharmed to their parents and you automatically add a giant dose of host anxiety. 

I did get to have the fun of decorating

I made the wild children use the back door

And stay in the playroom until dinner time

Did you see all of those streamers?  They stayed up for...hmmm...about 4 minutes.  Then they were torn down and rolled in.  Along with all of my handmade signs, and table clothes.  There was a lot of balloon wrestling and high pitched screaming.  Apparently, otherwise well behaved children with amazing parents and wonderful homes follow the same sociological rules as adults.  In large groups they feel anonymous.  So, my redirection and pleas for order did little to stop that tornado.  

All in all, they were nine years olds.  I think they had fun.  If not, they burnt off a lot of steam from the sitting in a desk at school during the day.  There was a lot of laughter.  A lot of story telling and joking. A lot of "I almost peed my pants" from one party goer. Amelia had a great time.  She didn't seem to mind the lack of order or that no one could sit still long enough to watch her to open gifts.  She was a little disappointed that the decorations were destroyed. I am glad to see that she has some of my blood after all.

How do your nerves do around big, wild groups of children?  Cool as a cucumber or hot tamale?

My Amelia

Dear Amelia,

Do you remember that day nine years ago when you just wouldn't cooperate?  When you pulled out every stop in the book just to stay in bed a little longer.  To spite the pitocin, epidural and even morphine (yes, morphine!), I remember it well.  Somehow, foolishly, I though that I gave you life that day.  Oh, how wrong I was!  The gifts that were given were all   to me.  Thank you for sharing your life with me every day.  I was blessed beyond words when your life became intwined with mine.

From shallowness and fog

you came masterfully

Shocking my humility  

divine beauty 

warmly charged love

Amelia

The soulful artist

 Goofy girl

 Caring sister

Super soccer star

lover of joy

Obsessed reader

Nature Lover

You bring love, humor, happiness and beauty to our family.  Happy Birthday Amelia!

Birthday on the Brain

Tomorrow my sweet Amelia turns 9!  Impossible!  I have been busy planning her birthday fiesta.  I am not just trying to sound festive.  That is what she requested, a birthday fiesta.  To my dismay, Amelia asked for a fiesta instead of the girly options I tried to push on her.  I have two boys to hold basketball parties and lego themed events.  It would be nice if I could go girly once in a while.  But, her reasons are good ones.  Amelia wanted to invite boys and did not want to subject them to jewelry making or the like.  So, a fiesta it is.  I have had most of the plans simmering for a couple of weeks, but this week I have to actually get out of the "idea" faze.  


Yesterday, during Liam's nap I finished the party favors.  I found this idea for mini pinata's here:  http://onecharmingparty.com/2011/04/29/cinco-de-mayo-pinata


Mine aren't quite as cute, but not too bad...

I dedicate this post to my glue gun.  You are a strong, loyal friend and my favorite crafting tool.


Do you prefer to hold your children's parties at home or in a public venue?

Feasting on Gratitude

During mass on Sunday, someone spoke about St. Luke’s annual stewartship campaign.  The theme this year is “feasting on gratitude”.  I was immediately struck and captivated.  Not just by how it pertains to stewartship, but how it can be incorporated into our daily lives.

Brain washed as we are to constantly strive for more, these small words have big meaning.  When I think to trying to let go of achieving and live more in the moment, I struggle not to see it as settling.  I don’t mean a nice peaceful settling in but rather a settling for less.  More of a giving up hopes and dreams or of idleness (brain washed, see?).

Accepting to live with less is a lifelong struggle.  Maybe that is because we use the term "less" when we really mean cutting out material greed and static.  I like the concept we can experience the wonder and excitement that we crave in the blessing that we have already been given.  It doesn’t have to be about sacrifice at all but about gratitude and celebration.  In the end, we don't have less at all.  In fact, we can be very full indeed.


Yesterday, I feasted on gratitude (and field roast) over lunch.  I am so grateful that I can have this handsome, charming little boy as my lunch date every weekday.  He is not a very adventurous eater and sometimes I can't follow our conversations completely.  But, how can I feel anything but gratitude and abundance when I get to stare over the table at this?

"For your birthday, I am going to the store and me and Daddy are buying you a 

PRETTY, PINK, PRINCESS coat"

"Does it come with ruffles and sparkles?"

What are you feasting on today?

The importance of (literal) balance

I have experienced time and time again that my life is reflected in my yoga practice.  When I am overworked, frazzled, sick, crabby, hyper, or tired, my balance poses magnify my state.  Sometime, it is of no surprise.  Other times, I have to sit back and ask myself "what?... WHAT?!?".  


I have also seen how unrest and lack of (figurative) balance my children's lives, and the lives of the little one's that I teach is reflected in their personalities and interactions.   I can only conclude that if physical balance helps emotional balance in adults, the same must be true for children.


Research shows that balance exercises such as rocking, walking, swaying, leaning, tip toeing, and hopping on one foot, has many physical benefits for children.  When a child focuses on balance she engages the muscles on both sides of the body.  Accordingly, both sides of the brain are fired up.  Neurological pathways are strengthened.


In our Kindermusik classes, we reguarly engage in balance exercises often as we challenge and play with movement. We often talk about the many physical benefits.  But, never the emotional rewards of feeling physical balance.  Of course, this is because this is my idea, not one promoted by Kindermusik....yet (??).  Obviously, children need emotional balance too.  So, next time you cuddle and rock a child, ride a bike along side them, go for a walk or have a dance party consider the gift of balance you give to each other.


Imagine rocking a child in your arms.  As the child feels the gravity drop through her belly, there is a brief sense of free falling.  Control over the her body is given up for that moment as she falls through space.  At the bottom of the rock, she is still held securely in your arms, feeling your pulse and your breath, still "caught", only to be brought back up again.  A beautiful act of balance, love and trust.

Where is your favorite place to rock with your child?